An interview with François Lelord
François Lelord has had a successful career as a psychiatrist both in the United States and France. He now devotes his time to writing, and is the author (in conjunction with Christophe André) of a number of best-selling self-help books. His new novel, Hector and the Search for Happiness, has just been published by Gallic Books.
Q. Do people really need a guide to happiness?
The first books I ever wrote were non-fiction psychology books which were sort of guides to daily life. But when I was writing Hector I didn’t feel the need to produce a practical guide to love and happiness. These are emotional subjects that can’t just be carved up into chapters, rules and lessons. So I chose to write these fables or novels in the hope that readers might learn something about themselves and love or happiness in a more personal kind of way. I truly believe that Hector’s adventures make more of an impact on readers than a straightforward practical guide which offers advice at the end of each chapter.
Q. So do we know how to recognise happiness?
In the first Hector novel which deals with happiness, the hero states that people have a tendency to ruin moments of happiness. We compare our present situation to our past experiences, or to the situation or experiences of others. To really savour a moment of happiness, one has to try and forget about the past and other people. If one is constantly making comparisons, it’s hard to ever feel happy.
Q. Nowadays, people always want more: they want to be younger, more beautiful, richer. Why is this?
We always want more because happiness has become a value. For a long time, life was ruled by duty: one had to fulfil one’s duty as a mother, wife, husband, soldier…Happiness was something that came on top, but only after you had done your duty. A sense of guilt at being a bad father or mother was the worst feeling you could have. But since the end of the Second World War, personal fulfilment has turned into a value. In the 1970s, the search for happiness became the number one priority for everyone. But if one is overly concerned with one’s happiness, one risks increasing the chances of being unhappy. It’s about finding a balance between self-abnegation and total egotism.
Q. Are people happier in rich societies?
Studies show that below a certain level of poverty, it’s very hard to be happy. However, once basic needs have been met and if one also lives in a community of people with a roughly similar standard of living, being ‘richer’ doesn’t significantly increase happiness. Poor people who live in poor countries show themselves to be much happier than poor people living in wealthier countries. In fact what’s most important is to feel acceptance amongst one’s social group.
This interview first appeared in the magazine écoute. Find out more about the book at www.hectorsjourneys.com.
